hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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