Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
