God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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