i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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