Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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