I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
