She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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