DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
