did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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