this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
