I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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