dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize