All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
