hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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