I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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