Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
