some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
