she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
