PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
