You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
