I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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