Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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