roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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