I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
