This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i will never coherently bang her
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
