return my video game
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
