Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
