I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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