:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
