Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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