All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
