I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am mentally ready for anal.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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