@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
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