it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize