We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
