i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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