If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
