Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
