I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize