Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
