I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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