I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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