i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
