This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
