What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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