I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You can't motorboat a personality
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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