perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize