conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
