Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
