How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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