How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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