My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
