i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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