she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just invented taco cereal.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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