he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
