so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
