I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize