he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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