I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
