what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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