As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
