I'm lost and stupid without you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
