glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize