i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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