I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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