pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
