my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It was confusing and full of hummus
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
