Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
