Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
